The Old Man Flag

The Old Man Flag

Old men, fly your flag!

Non-sleek, gigantic white shoes

Reebok accepted

I was talking with a friend about how at some point, all men cross the threshold into old man-dom and start wearing huge white tennis shoes. Why is this? When the brain begins to wither, is the white shoe somehow more attractive, like a specter calling in the night? When the axons and dendrites don't make connections as quickly, does the pontoon-like feel of the chunky shoe make them feel more at ease, more stable? Just then, as if to make my point with a human example, a dude walked by wearing, you guessed it, great big white Reeboks. The crazy part is this behavior begins far sooner than it has too. I've seen men as young as 45 flying the old man flag. So if you are feeling the tremendous urge to buy a pair of glaringly white tennis shoes that are more round than long, just sit down. Breathe. Remain calm. We will go shoe shopping, and you can put your flag back in the closet for another year.