My Watch is Better Than Your Watch
Color: Tomato
Size: Bigger than your damn head
Function: Awesomeness
I own several watches, but I haven't worn any in a long time. Then I spotted this one. Bold. Red. Plastic. It called to me and I had to have it. Now I am wearing this damn thing all the time, and I feel like I am part of some secret robot society. Like if I just pressed one of the many buttons, I could be transported to another galaxy and I would be a commander in the middle of a super robot war. I would be on the side of the good super robots, and the other super robots that I am fighting against are bad in some way. They do stuff like mash kittens and leave gum on the sidewalk and smoke outside of bars and cafes so you can't eat your sandwich in peace, so they must be destroyed. Yes, this is how my mind works.
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