The Jackass on the Phone

The Jackass on the Phone

Okay, okay, Jeff

Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff okay

Jeff, listen buddy

I was sitting at an outside table for dinner tonight when possibly the loudest and most coarse individual I have ever had the pleasure of hearing came outside to talk on his phone. I am not sure if he was raised at the airport by lackadaisical pilots or perhaps his ear canals were stuffed with composting vegetable matter, but he seemed to be completely unaware that a) he was a human capable of talking at a normal decibel level, b) he was in human surroundings, c) there were other humans nearby. From the one side of the conversation that I could hear it seemed his friend Jeff had an auditory impediment as well. Where do these people come from? And why were they attempting to talk to one another on the phone when they are clearly so ill suited for the task? At that point I wished I had studied Karate so I could have walked up and kicked loud man's face off. I know, it sounds terrible, but I would have been lauded. Lauded people!