SPLES

SPLES

Lusty old codger
licked his lips as I went by
my panties shimmered

Don't you wish there was no explanation for this? What would you come up with if you had to write one? Would I be walking around in just my drawers? Where would I be? Why is the old codger scoping my shit? (God that made me guffaw typing that.) All right, so here it is. I went to Fred Meyers on lunch, I found some shimmery underwear, I carried them around the store with me as I looked at everything else. As I came around a corner in the makeup aisles, I saw an old dude that had a lustful look on his face. He licked his lips and looked wantonly at the panties I had in my hand. I didn't know what to do. Should I have said, "Hey Gramps, I notice you admiring my shimmery panties, would you like to touch them? How do you think Grandma would feel about that?" Should I have smacked him with some nearby lip balm? Or maybe he just needed to use some of that nearby lip balm, maybe he wasn't being lustful at all and just had a dry mouth. And Lustful Eye Syndrome. Shimmery Panty Lustful Eye Syndrome. He had SPLES. Totally had the SPLES.