Human VS. Honda

Human VS. Honda

I am bruised, broken

In cage match with my Honda

I am the loser

Over the past week or so, my car has kicked my ass. Other people's cars have kicked my ass. I have not done so well with automobiles in general in the past few days. Earlier in the week I was parked on a bit of an incline and my door slammed into my shoulder, giving me a lovely goose egg with a fairy punch on top. I don't know what the hell a fairy punch is, but it sounded good and if you saw my shoulder you would say, "Holy crap, it looks like a fairy punched you." Then I went to lunch with a friend and when I got into her car I slammed my shin into the glove box. Why? I'm only 5'3", it's not like I have mile-long legs and it was a really tough gig to fit all of me into a regular-sized car. I'm unsure of what these run-ins with vehicles mean, but I know I can't take any more fairy punches. God damned fairies.