All Hail the King

All Hail the King

Bacon is the king

Ham is merely the jester

Me: No court invite

Today a friend at work was disappointed because he had accidentally gotten a ham Hot Pocket rather than bacon. I asked, "Why, don't you like ham?" He said, "No." I said, "All men like ham." He said, "Bacon is the king to ham's jester." It has been about five weeks since pork products have crossed these lips. I would like to say that I miss the pork, but I don't. It's the idea of pork that I miss. The idea of crispy salty bacon. Sausage. Ribs. Big fat ham steaks. Okay, maybe I do miss the pork, but there's no reason to start consuming it again. I still have all the other meats to eat... so far. I figure eventually I'll drift into being one of those damn dirty vegetarians, sitting in a corner eating vast quantities of tortilla chips and rocking back and forth. Thinking of bacon.