Ich Heisse Heinrich

Ich Heisse Heinrich

Haikunicorndog

Mythical joy trifecta

What will draw you near?

I imagine there is a beautiful, magical unicorn that lives deep within a Gothic forest. It speaks in haikus that are always syllabically perfect and wondrous to the ears. It carries on its back a satchel filled with both pork and turkey corn dogs, and when the majestic beast gives out a corn dog, the bag always replaces it, so the bag is never empty. Only the luckiest humans ever get a corn dog from this unicorn. I wonder what would draw the Haikunicorndog near? I mean, if it has a never-ending bag of corn dogs, what else could it possibly want? In this scenario, I picture myself as a fat little German boy with curly red hair wearing some sort of baby blue lederhosen that has spied this beautiful creature. I travel into the forest everyday to see it, to watch its grace, to hope for its lilting words to echo in my brain. I bring carrots, I bring comic books, I bring my cat's eye marbles as offerings. All I want is a corn dog. My name is Heinrich, and all I want is a corn dog.