My Licorice Suit

My Licorice Suit

Form-fitting candy,
red corn syrup ensemble
Eat my pants later

I would like a suit made out of red licorice. I picture myself in my fashionable sweet suit sitting in the doctor's office, in the grocery check out line, playing tennis. It wouldn't have to look like a regular lady suit, I would make it look super cool, like something a Japanime character might don to fight street crime. Or I could have it look like Gary Oldman's armor in Dracula, the ultimate licorice suit for warring in medieval times. I would have to be wary of of temperature fluctuations—too hot and my suit would become sticky, too cold and my suit would no longer be pliable. The best thing about wearing a licorice suit is eating it at the end of the day—in one mad frenzy of licorice love, you get to chew on a lapel and eat your pants. The worst thing about a licorice suit is the creeps that want to lick you. But maybe they would want to lick you anyway, with or without the candy suit.