The Jesus Milk Intervention
They gave me whole milk
when I only wanted non
Jesus intervened
They have given me whole milk in my chai tea the last few times I have gone to Starbucks; my friend believes it is Jesus intervening on my behalf. Perhaps Jesus wants me to be more robust in my pantaloons area. Perhaps he thinks I will be more satisfied with more milk fat in my gullet. Honestly Jesus, it just tears up my stomach. So Jesus, instead of intervening with whole milk, why don't you intervene with some crispy new hundred dollar bills? Or the ability to write a best-selling novel in three weeks and get it sold in one? The power of consecutive perfect hair days and the Artist Formerly Known as Prince-like lyricism. Yes Jesus, start with those things. Forget the full fat dairy.
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