The Plea

The Plea

Honor my presence

walk in a straight god damn line

when you cross the street

Have you ever seen people cross the street in a diagonal? Take their own sweet time? Straight up lollygag? Yes, I have too. And these people should be smote with a two-and-half ton car. All I ask is that people follow the crosswalk. Walk in a straight line. Don't talk to your mother in Virginia on your cell phone and dawdle in the middle of the street because she is trying to get the dog to say hello. Honor my presence in the world and pretend you have somewhere to be and you're late. Quickly, quickly, cross the street like you just saw the man of your dreams! And he's holding two ice cream cones! And a baby wombat! Named Josephine!